[Frameworks] Please help

[David Tetzlaff]

Dear Friends:

Alter Elizabeth McMahon here. As you may be aware from recent posts to Frameworks, I am having some issues with my cyberspace persona. I first noticed my cyber-self was a bit constipated, but I concluded that this would pass (so to speak) if I ate a toasted multi-grain bagel and waited a few hours. But that, unfortunately, did not help. The pain grew, and when I finally got the courage to do a closer inspection, I discovered the awful truth: there was a fairly sizable stick shoved up my ass. I also soon realized this was no mere piece of dead wood. Like a divining rod, it pulled me away from holistic, shamanic healers to the white coat 'doctors' at my HMO, who prescribed a copious quantity of laxatives. This resulted only in a very stinky stick, that seemed to be growing due to having been fertilized. Thus, the physicians referred me to a local landscaping service.

The folks there were very gentle and nurturing, but they had bad news. My stick had sprung roots and was getting thicker. After some trial runs at extraction, and some heavy math calculations, they determined that neither Caterpiller nor Deere made a tractor or back-hoe with enough power to pull that much lumber wedged in so tightly out of my butt.

Though my Frameworks-persona seemed to be inspired and energized by this chain of events, as you can imagine my meatspace self began to fall into despair and depression. For some reason, I popped my Fantoma DVD of Lucifer Rising into the video machine. And as I saw Myriam Gibril and Donald Cammell appear as Isis and Osiris, I realized that human being had never before or since looked both so strikingly beautiful and utterly comically ridiculous simultaneously. This was, indeed, magick, and I knew it could be my salvation.

So, I desperately need Kenneth Anger to perform the ritual incantations that will get the stick out of my ass, BUT HE'S NOT ON EARTH RIGHT NOW! He's off in another dimension where I fear he's being held for ransom by renegade warlocks named Thelema And Luis!

Please HELP ME! EM needs a BM! I know you know what to do.

P. S. I've had to concentrate SO HARD to gain control of this email, I'm sure my cyber-persona will reassert herself, disavow this msg. as a cruel hoax, yada yada and even more yada. Don't pay any attention to her, OK? Klear Ken Kommandos unite! And donate, of course.